I have insomnia. Well, maybe it’s not really insomnia, because it’s not like I can’t sleep (I can), and more like I don’t want to sleep. Or actually, I don’t want to fall asleep.

It’s not like I think I won’t wake up in the morning or anything, or that I have too many worries rolling around in my head (although as a mother that does tend to happen to me sometimes). No, it’s just – I dunno. I want to fall asleep doing something. Watching TV. Reading a book. Listening to my iPod. But something. Not just putting my head down on the pillow and closing my eyes.

Weird.

It’s possible that it’s a symptom of depression, a mental illness that I have a bit of a history with. But apart from the falling asleep thing, I don’t have any other symptoms of the disease.

Right now, it’s 2:22 a.m. where I am. And I have not yet slept. Why? Because I prefer to sit up writing until my eyelids droop and my head nods.

Help?